


Domestic Life

by NemuiNigen



Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: Angst, Domestic Fluff, Emotional Hurt, Heart-to-Heart, Ice Cream Parlors, Identity Issues, M/M, Pizza
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-04
Updated: 2020-01-13
Packaged: 2020-02-25 22:23:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 11,032
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18710863
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NemuiNigen/pseuds/NemuiNigen
Summary: After defeating the Seekers of Darkness, Isa and Lea have taken up new lives together in Twilight Town. Thou, both have come to find that common life can be a lot more difficult than they had imagined. On top of having to get used to having full-time jobs, feeling real emotions is something that might be more overwhelming than they actually remembered from their previous times as humans.It's just another day for Isa and Lea.





	1. Lea's Day I

How calming darkness felt to him. It was like he was floating, wrapped in a blanket of nothingness, warm and secure. He was calm, content, and at peace like this. There was no pain, no sadness, no feeling at all except soothing silence in an abyss of shadows. Everything was exactly as it should be. Except...he _wasn’t_ floating. Seconds ticked by and now he could feel something firm, yet soft against the side of his body. The warmth around him becoming slightly lighter as his body twitched, struggling to move. His head began to pulse, then his body, and then it felt like his entire universe was ringing, screeching in his ear until finally-

“AHHHHHHH!” A hand was quick to slam the _off_ button on his alarm clock as he flung the blankets from his body. He huffed, already irritated, body half coated in cold sweat from being buried in the sheets all night. With one final pant and a sigh, the former organization member allowed himself to fall back down into the comfort of his mattress, his red hair becoming tangled as it was smooshed between the pillow and the side of his face. Another day...another morning. Lea could only groan, wanting more than anything to just fall back into the comfort of sleep. _Alright...let’s get this bread, as the kids say,_ he told himself right before picking himself up and climbing to his feet. With a swift pull back from the curtains and daylight parading through the window, it was time to start the day.

Ever since being recompleted, he and Isa had moved in together. It wasn’t a very luxurious apartment, good enough for the both of them with space for each to have their privacy if they really needed it. Only a single bedroom with a connecting bath was present. It had been decided that the bedroom would be more of Isa’s space, and thus decoration was very minimal to his liking. No television, no games; just a bed, a double-wide dresser, nightstands, a chair, and a reading lamp. Almost everything was in the main studio space.

The living room was under Lea’s control, and had the main TV and all of his and a few of Roxas’s games that he had borrowed, as well as enough sitting space for them both and a few guests should they ever have such. Often they did, seeing Roxas and Xion almost every day. Right beside it was the kitchen and a small dining table set up beside a window that looked out over the rooftops of the city, being on the third floor of the apartment complex. Often, when they needed space Isa would take to the bedroom and lea be given free rein of the living room, each only having to see each other when going to the bathroom or to get food. So far, it had worked splendidly, but then again neither of them had held much annoying thought of the other since this started. It was still common for Saix to spend time in the living room with Lea as much as possible.

The usual morning routine: shower, brush teeth, blow dry hair, and then he could sit down to breakfast with Isa, who was already dressed and fully groomed for the day. A book was in one hand and a fine china cup gently held in the other. Numerous times Lea could recall asking about whatever it was he was reading, only to forget by the time they were both out the door. Even just looking at a single page made his eyelids heavy. There had been many attempts when he had humored Isa and allowed him to read allowed before going to bed, each time only resulting in him falling asleep faster than on his own. It was all always boring to him.

“It’s your turn to make dinner tonight, isn’t it? If you’re bringing work home I don’t suppose you could at least bring a salad with you, could you?” Isa’s face never once lifted from his book as he spoke. The way Isa spoke just slightly slower than what one would consider normal speed, the way he articulated almost every syllable; most would define such to be a condescending, almost threatening tone. His voice as always, was slightly hushed, calm, passing through anyone’s ear with a chill, words hallow and near haunting. The fact that he couldn’t bother to make eye contact could be taken as rude like he refused to give anyone more attention than pages before his face. Anything else seemed insignificant. The base rim of his china cup clinked against its saucer as he lifted it to take a small sip, and then once again as he set it back down.

 

Lea, thought nothing of this, as a matter of fact, having been used to this kind of behavior, and knew not to think anything of it. That, and he was hunched over the table with an elbow extended forward across the table, his cheek pressed at his palm while the other hand spoon-fed his mouth whatever breakfast cereal they still had left from this week's grocery run. His eyes remained half shut, staring off into space and then down to his phone beside his unused napkin. Occasionally he’d set down his eating utensil all for the sake of a quick flick and a tap at the game he had been addicted to this month. “That depends, ya gonna bring _your_ work home with ya? Or ya just gonna give me 50 munny to pay for it?”  His voice was still rough, throat still dry, and monotone.

Isa glanced up from his book for only a second. The corners of his mouth could almost be seen tugging back into a smirk before looking back down as he turned the page. “We cannot live our entire lives on pizza and sweets. Now that we are human again we must learn to take care of ourselves better.” With that, Isa set his book down to reach into his pants pocket and extract his wallet for 50 munny. “I’ll bring my work home when we’re having a rainy day and no other options.” The distant sound of Twilight Tower chiming the morning bells could be heard faintly for a moment, and they both looked out the window beside them.

It was always oddly pleasant, the way the world’s sunlight never became brighter than just before sunrise. The consistent calm glow throughout the day combined with the warmth smoothing over the surface of their skin made Lea want to just crawl back into bed, call in sick. It was a lazy day, indeed. Shamrock colored eyes dwindled shut for a moment as Isa closed his book. “I hope you’ll have enough time to finish getting ready. I’ll be going now.”

He was left to finish his breakfast as Isa slowly made his way to the kitchen space to wash his teacup. Lea watched as Isa grabbed his shoulder bag and made for the front entrance, and just like that, he was alone. “Yeah...I better get movin’ too. Can’t avoid it all mornin’....”

* * *

 

In a means to try and support himself alongside Isa they both had taken up full-time jobs, whatever they could find. In Lea’s case, that was pizza delivery. The longer the day panned out the better it seemed to just have called in sick and stay in bed. Lea’s face was in a frozen state of disappointment and self-loathing even just an hour after punching his time card. Never mind the nervous, awkward greeting he’d perform on routine to his boss right away or the mindless chatter from his coworkers that he’d forget within ten minutes. All he really cared about was getting through the day with as minimal screw-ups as possible, which in his case meant having no more than ten. Taking orders over the phone? That was easy. The real problem was making the delivery. Since being hired a few days prior there had hardly been a single time where he hadn’t failed to make the scheduled delivery time, often getting lost in the tunnels and back alleyway of the city leading to areas as far away possible from where he needed to be.

It was known by everyone at work that he was still new to living in Twilight Town, still learning his way around as best he could, but even still each workday ended with at least two or three phone calls complaining about the delay. The only plus side to the job was that the delivery gave Lea some much desired alone time. With a quick turn of the key and a crank of the handle, he was off on one of _Pizza Cone’s_ motor scooters, zipping down the street alongside the tram and into the underground tunnels. Indeed he enjoyed nothing more than tightening the safety strap on his helmet, strapping on his goggles, and blast off with the wind tangling up his hair.

Getting en route was easy. Staying on it...that was the hard part.  He could only rely on his gummiephone so much before the dreaded _No Signal_ notification would take over the entire screen in the tunnels. The navigator was useless, now. At this point, he was like a mouse in a maze, only with no cheese at the end to reward him. Lea eyes glanced at the walls, watching for the right numbers, all while thinking it would do everyone a great favor if they just actually said which exit lead to what area. For someone known to demand he be memorized, Lea wasn’t the best at memorizing details himself.

All he knew was that he was going to Sunset Terrace, which was door 7, right? Wait, was there even a door 7? The more he thought about it he hadn’t even seen anything beyond the number 5 on any wall. Lea checked his phone once more; still no service...and hardly any time left. Another glace up and the number 3 exit was the closest one and at this point, any guess seemed as good the other so...he’d take a chance and hope it pays off, and if then at least he’d have service to see where to go. With a quick twist, he zipped past the exit sign, engine buzz echoing all around him off the concrete walls. It wasn’t long until he saw the end of the tunnel leading out to…- he grit his teeth as he reached into his pocket for his phone. It was the back alley, close to the spot where Roxas’s friends often hung out. Nowhere close.

Another late arrival.

This continued again, and again for the rest of the day, only four being completed on time. At the very least, in the rare incident he arrived with the pizza cold he got to have a little fun. In moments like this, he was all too happy to get to snap his fingers and flash tiny flares and puffs of flame just out of reach from setting their food on fire. Within seconds it was just as hot as tho it had just left the oven. Some had even said to Lea that getting to see him show a little magic skill was worth waiting an extra ten minutes unless the order was wrong to begin with….

It was just one more day gone wrong, to him in the end. Once his shift was over he could change his work clothes and wash his face in the slightest attempt to get the smell of grease and cheese off of him before going home. _At least there’s free pizza everyday,_ he reminded himself as he clocked out, a usual pie waiting for him to take home over on the pick-up counter. With as many times has he had screwed up, Lea didn’t even feel like it was in his right to take it home for free. As great as it smelled, he just looked sorrowful, filled with guilt at the closed pizza box. “Must be part’a havin’ a heart that I forgot about. Normally I’d just take it without any thought…” he muttered under his breath while gritting his teeth. Distracted in his own frustration he wouldn’t have noticed his boss right behind until he was patting the back of his shoulder.

“Lea! Someone called about ya today. Said you were late but you did some really freaky fire trick or something? Whatever it was they thought it was cool and made ‘em less mad. Hell, they even asked if ya could do it again for ‘em next time you deliver!” His tone was firm, but also calm and gentile just like the look on his face. “We like havin’ ya here but you gotta do better at this. Get a map of the tunnels to carry with ya if that’s what it takes or heck, spend some extra time. Try walkin’ home through ‘em. Should be at least one exist close to the residential area, right?” Held out in his hand was a small-sized folded piece of paper, a photo of Twilight Town’s cityscape on the front with an eye-catching typeface and the town crest.

Lea eyed it momentarily before the lightbulb went off in his head, and it clicked what was being said. He took the map. “Alright. I won’t let you down again. Don’t you worry about that.”

“Good to hear. Now you get home quick. It looks like it’s about ta start raining out there!”

  
His eyes squinted as he forced his face to make a confident smile, only to immediately sink the moment he stepped outside, pizza box in arm. Lea’s nails dug into the cardboard walls on either side. Eyes fell down on the folded piece of paper on top as he bit into his lip. “I ain’t _really_ ’bout ta get fired, am I?” he muttered under his breath.


	2. Lea's Day II

“You’re home a little later than usual. Busy day?” Isa said without so much as glancing up from his action, getting out plates and napkins for both of them. A frown came about his face when he noticed only the pizza in his hand. “...you forgot something, don’t you think?”

Still in a daze, Lea almost didn’t comprehend what was even being asked until Isa snapped his finger and repeated himself. He tilted his head slightly, confused. “Huh? What are ya talkin’ about? I let myself in so of course, I didn’t forget my keys like last time.”

“...no...not that.”

“What else is there. Not like I’d ever forget my phone at work, and I already got dinner.” That was all there was to do for the day, right? What was Isa getting at? Lea furrowed his brow as he set the pizza box down on the coffee table next to the napkins and plates. He nodded. Yeah, everything seemed to be in order to him. All that was missing was a quick change of clothes into his PJs and his favorite cup filled with soda and the day could finally end. “Did I forget to hang my key up? Seriously, what did I forget?”

Isa just crossed his arms and his legs from where he was seated in his usual chair. “Do you remember me giving you money this morning for something?” he asked with a sigh.

A puzzled look was on Lea’s face with a hand raised to pinch his chin. Eyes shifted to their corners, thinking back to breakfast and then...his heart sank. “D-damnit! I forgot your salad, didn’t I?!” Not that an answer was needed beyond the lack of anything green present on the coffee table. _Just how many people am I going to let down in one day,_ he cursed at himself inside his head as his fingers tightened into fists.

“It’s alright. There are still some things in the fridge. I can make something small for myself. Go ahead and eat. I assumed as much would occur.” Isa just shook his head but before he could rise, Lea was already on his feet, heading for the door.

“NO! I’m going back! Just wait a moment!” It was stupid to go back at this point. By the time he got back to work, paid for Isa’s dinner and got back his own pizza would be cold and Isa would have already made something else for himself and eaten. Yet, he couldn’t stand it, having been a screw up so many times in a single day even to the one person he thought he could never let down. Ever since they had taken up their lives in twilight Town nothing seemed to have been going right for him.

Lea was deep in thought as he dashed down the stairwell, nearly jumping down entire flights of stairs, moving so fast that it all seemed to pass in a blur, body moving on autopilot without actually processing anything with his eyes as he moved. Just how long was he going to live with someone else holding his hand? Ever since they had been kids Lea had needed someone else to watch over him from his parents to Isa at school, Ansem the Wise, Saix and even their former Superior. Now what? The minute he’s expected to take care of himself he just fell apart at every chance! It had just come full circle with Isa once again having to keep him in line alongside his new boss...only this time there were actual consequences knocking right at his door if he didn’t shape up right away.

He hated it, seeing his own failure time and again no matter how much effort he was putting in to try and do better and just reaching the same failures day after day, having nothing to show for his attempts other than coming home smelling like yeast and burned olive oil. - _SPLASH._ A wake-up slap across his entire body when a car pulled across the road and through a puddle just outside Lea’s apartment building as he walked into the street. Dark skies and dripping rain...was this really how pathetic he had come to be? To seriously be walking halfway across town without an umbrella all for the sake of one mistake he had made?

Lea just...never thought ahead, could he? Now that he was caught in the middle of the rain he remembered his boss telling him to get home quickly. The sky _had_ been getting dark and wind picking up when he left work. He should have seen this coming and now he was just...wet and humiliated in the middle of the sidewalk two steps from his door. With a heavy sigh and clenched fists, Lea dragged himself back up the stone steps towards his apartment complex door and ringed whatever water he could out of his clothes before slumping back inside and up the stairwell. His boots echoed each step with a resonance of just how much shame weighed down over his shoulders.

The house key felt like a brick in his fingers as he turned it in the lock before stepping inside and shaking off any excess water from his spiked hair, weighing heavy on his back and shoulders. Everything was weighing down on him- his failure, his embarrassment, the weather, and now even his hair. Leal could only think about how he didn’t want to leave from that spot in the entryway. He didn’t want to take his boots off and walk into the living space to Isa who was no doubt still in his usual spot on the couch, already picking at leftovers from the previous night that he had thrown together in the time it took Lea to nearly get run over in the middle of a downpour.

His eyes lingered to the floor with a hung head, watching as water dripped from the tips of his spikes that dangled past his face, droplets tap and sink into the wooden floorboards. Lea sniffed, his nose beginning to run as a chill came over him. Great, and now he was going to catch a cold if he didn’t warm up fast.

Had he actually thought about it for a moment, Lea would have remembered he was capable of controlling fire, and that his newest worry would be null and void with a quick heat flash over his body. Yet the weight on his mind left him incapable of thinking of anything else beyond just wanting to crawl into his bed and forget about the entire day...until tomorrow when he’d have to do it all over again! No- Lea didn’t want to crawl into bed. He wanted to just sink away; to just fall back into a gateway to darkness like he would have been able to do if he was still a Nobody. As a human, he had nothing at his disposal except a useless broken keyblade and fire magic that was only good for burning things. He didn’t even want to have dinner at this point.

With a heavy sigh, Lea kicked off his boots and trudged his way through the entryway into the living space at long last to see Isa right as he had predicted; seated at his usual spot on the couch with his book in hand, reading glasses on, and leftover salad in a bowl right beside of cup of tea on the coffee table. “Forget something?” Isa said with a small glance up to the redhead. His front was as pristine and cold as ever, yet his hand clasped just slightly, ready to shut his book and listen.

He didn’t say anything at first. Lea just dragged himself over to where Isa was seated and fell face-first into his half of the couch, legs hanging over the armrest and cried out into the cushions, groaning and whining all while muffled.

“I told you I could make use of the leftovers we already have. After all, if they aren’t finished soon then they’ll just go bad. I don’t like it when either of us are wasteful.” Stole a glance at his roommate’s pathetic state, not even with the sense to sit up properly. Hanging over the sofa’s edge the way he was could ruin the armrest, he thought.

When Lea didn’t respond at all Isa put his book down and took another bite from his plate. “You’ve been acting different as of late. Don’t think I haven’t noticed.” Out of the corner of his eye, Isa saw lea look up at him. He didn’t budge and opened his book again, only to pretend to be reading when in actuality it was just for him to have something to focus on so that eye contact wasn’t being made. He knew his gaze could be serious, sometimes intimidating, and so for the moment, Isa thought it best to maybe act distracted while he spoke. “You sleep in later than usual, and you talk less during breakfast. You come home less lively, less happy every time. Lea...what exactly is wrong?”

There a brief silence between the two until Lea finally rolled over onto his back and let his legs hang over the armrest, swinging them lightly for a moment.  He huffed. “Do you ever just sorta...feel like everythin’ is jus’ outta your control? Like nothin’ is goin’ as easy as you hoped it would?”

“What do you mean?”

“Ya know like...how when we were kids and we kinda always had someone lookin’ after us and we still thought we could take care of ourselves. But now that we’re older and havin’ ta do everything ourselves it’s a lot harder than we imagined way back then.”

“...not really. I had already prepared for a future. We just happened to take an extended detour when we were turned into Nobodies for a few years. What exactly are you getting at?”

“.......” It was difficult to talk about, at least, in a direct, honest sense and to just admit that he felt like he was failing as an adult on his own. Even with one of his closest friends, Lea still couldn’t summon up the same level of courage he had whenever he needed to combat against the Heartless or even the Seekers of Darkness. Why, tho? He knew Isa couldn’t do or say anything that would cause any further harm than his own actions already had!

“I just...well...I guess _you_ wouldn’t have that much trouble, would ya? You always were better in school and more uh...level headed than I ever was.” he sighed, and then paused for a moment, eyes shut and rubbing his temples. “I’m just havin’ some troubles at work and jus’...things aren’t gettin’ better no matter how hard I work at it. My boss gave me a warning today and I think he might fire me if I don’t get it tagether soon, ya know?”

Isa gave a small, but direct glance down at Lea and nodded his head. “I see...what else?” His tone was calmer, softer. It was forced, easily heard as such, but still, his intentions were clear. Isa was trying to come across as approachable as possible for his friend.

“Just...that and when I look at you I can’t help but feel like you’re doin’ better at this whole ‘new life’ stuff we agreed on when we moved to this world. I mean, you’re already really good at your job and handled most of the complicated stuff like apartment hunting that I couldn’t do at all when we first started this. Hell...I don’t even do that much now until it’s my turn on the chore wheel…”

Again, Isa just nodded, but this time closed his book that he had only been pretending to read. “I see,” he said once more. He folded his hands in his lap and this time looked down at Lea with a fixed, but assuring expression that he was listening, and waited for him to finish everything on his mind.

“I always thought that bein’ an adult was gonna be easy, ya know? I thought it’d just be goin’ ta work and comin’ home ta play games and have a drink or two...and I guess that’s what I do a lot of, but...I wasn’t expectin’ it ta be this hard now that our parents are gone and Ansem ain’t lookin’ after us or the Superior ain’t givin’ us a place ta stay. On my own I guess...I’m comin’ ta learn that I really can’t get by at all…....I hate it. I hate sayin’ that I need someone ta kinda hold my hand halfway through everything.” With a deep, frustrated groan, Lea finally stopped massaging his temples and threw his hands in the air, let them fall against the couch whichever way they’d fall, and blinked a few times. “I’m...a little jealous of you, ya know?”

There was a moment of silence, both of them in thought. Yet it wasn’t long before Isa broke that silence with a tired, but gentle sigh. A hand reached out to grip firmly around one of Lea’s, giving him a firm squeeze. He felt Lea squeeze back and noticed his eyes sink shut. “You worry too much, Lea,” he spoke quietly, yet his voice was sharp and clear as his gaze moved to focus on the cover of his book on the coffee table. “Our new lives are difficult for _both_ of us...just in different aspects. True it be, yes my own job comes easy to me, but there are still critical elements of daily life that I have failed to adapt to, myself.”

“Huh? Really?!”

Isa nodded. “I have my weakness as well as my strengths, the same as you do. It’d be a lie to say you excelled at maintaining yourself at home or getting your job done properly, but you do have character, and charisma, wouldn’t you agree?” He paused to glance down at Lea, still laying on his backside, legs dangling over the couch armrest. “People are naturally drawn to you, and they like you, don’t they?”

Lea slowly opened his eyes and blinked a few times, thinking. His coworkers _did_ still seem pretty happy to see him every time he walked in. They hardly ever complained or acted annoyed when he didn’t know what to do, or when he made a mistake. Customers usually forgave him, especially when he did a little bit of fire magic for them. They always found it entertaining! His boss had even mentioned that customers requested he deliver to them again next time, despite being late. And, maybe his boss hadn’t been as angry as he had seemed. Their talk earlier that even didn’t consist of any yelling; just a mild reminder and then giving him a map. The man’s face had been calm, even smiling at him.

_Maybe I really am just...bein’ too hard on myself…._

He tilted his head slightly so that he could look over to Isa’s near-sideways face, given his perspective. “I guess that’s true, yeah…”

Isa nodded at him and squeezed his hand once again. “Put some effort into it and you will prosper the same as everyone else on their own. Sitting here covered in rainwater and laying in bed all day will not aid you to improve yourself.”

Lea nodded slowly as he forced a smile on his face. “Yeah, I guess you’re right. It just...I still don’t like it, ya know?! Hell, I almost miss us bein’ Ansem’s apprentices. At least back then we didn’t have to pay rent.”

Isa laughed in his throat, briefly. “Well, that’s part of being an adult, and living a normal life, I suppose. There’s no way out of it.” He got up, letting go of Lea and walked over towards the kitchen area, leaving his friend alone on the couch with the leftover salad and the pizza box, still shut. When he returned he found Lea sitting upright, pulling a slice from the box and the tv remote in his other hand, flicking through the HeartFlix catalog for something to put on.

There was a small bag in his hand. “I also know that sometimes on a rainy day everyone wants something sweet to feel better.”

Cheese was already stretching from the edge of Lea’s mouth to the slice after his first bite as he glanced over to Isa...and then his eyes lit up! He swallowed his food so fast that he started coughing, nearly choking as he set it down back in the box. “Wait- ya don’t mean ya-?!”  He didn’t wait for an answer and was more than grateful when he could take the gift from Isa’s hands and open the lid.

Still cold, as if it had just been made in the time it took him to walk over and pull it out of the fridge was a carefully prepared crepe, fluffy and colorful with a golden pancake and red glaze, white cream, and kiwi fruit. A pleasant fragrance wafted up to his nose. It was sweet and wrapped tightly in a colorful pink paper. “So ya finally brought work home with ya?” Lea just kept staring at it, almost not wanting to pick it up and partake.

Isa sat back down beside him. “I could tell you weren’t fell well these past few days, and just thought today was when you’d need it most. Unlike you, some of us actually check the weather report.” He watched as his friend finally had a bite from it, and his face lighten up with a smile. Isa...just gave a small, smug grin in return. It appeared he had done right, this time.

“Thank you, Isa...I’m gonna try and do better for myself, and for the both of us from now on! I promise you won’t have ta see me like this anymore!” Lea was talking with a full mouth, stuffed with cherry and kiwi and whipped cream.

“Lea, all you have to do is your best. Everything will come in time. But...if you want to do better right then...please shower more. You come home smelling terrible every day.” A hand reached out to pick up his book once again, ready to resume where he was as Lea kept flicking through HeartFlix.

“That depends…” he set the remote down as he selected something and reached around Isa’s shoulder, tugging him close. “...you joinin’ me in there?”

He turned his head very slowly/ The look on Lea’s face was as snarky, but as hopeful as ever. Isa just shook his head with a shallow smile and sighed. “...If it’ll get you to smell nicer then I suppose some quality time with you can be spent.” He shut his book once again.

“Then it’s a deal.” Lea leaned in to kiss at Isa’s, only for him to quickly lean away and smoosh whipped cream all over the blue-haired man’s cheek.


	3. Isa's Day I

Another side…another story.

It was another usual morning at the breakfast table; which meant Isa had his teacup in one hand, and a book in the other. Cyan eyes took the occasional glance up at Lea across the small, circle table tapping away at his phone held in both hands. His ears popped to the few sound effects louder than any other, no doubt indicating that Lea was performing well…or in trouble. It mattered not to Isa, knowing full well that what game it was would just be replaced within a month or so just like every other one he had tried. So long as they were free to play and Lea was happy, nothing else concerned him.

He looked back down at his book again, eyeing the same page he had been reading for several minutes now, no progress made. In fact, Isa had even flipped ahead a few times, unaware of the advancing plot, as though he were keeping up an act. Just like that, he’d turn the crisp, clean paper to hear it give out a gentile flap and then a crinkle and a snap as it came to the continuation he already knew he wasn’t going to really indulge in until much later. A single finger around the handle of his teacup made the small, but frequent gesturing of tightening hold around the pristine porcelain only to just as quickly loosen up, stretch and extend outward before curling back up, as if it were twitching.

So, maybe today wasn’t a usual morning. Usually, Isa didn’t have a nervous hand. Usually, he kept to his own business and focused on his book. Usually, he didn’t steal quick glances at Lea who was too dumb to even notice. Usually, he would finish his tea before it grew cold. As small and insignificant as each detail seemed, to Isa acting out of order wasn’t normal for him. Even just the smallest difference in behavior from Lea would have warrant questioning to him. But to Lea, it was the exact opposite. He’d never notice anything such as a nervous hand unless it was held within his own, trembling all the while.

He opened his mouth just slightly as though he were about to speak until Lea nearly jumped out of his chair in excitement over whatever it was that was happening on his phone screen. Isa immediately looked back at his book, mouth shut and eyes _almost_ straight ahead. Out of the corner he noted Lea’s expressions; mouth wide in a smile, one hand curled in a fist raised high in the air, eyes squinted, shoulders relaxed voice loud and cheerful. He was full of life, far more than he had even been when a nobody, just like how he had been during their first cycle as humans.

The morning bells from Twilight Tower began to ring, just they did every morning. Isa once again turned the page that he hadn’t truly read, and took a sip from his cold cup of tea, as though nothing was wrong. His eyes flickered for a moment at the window, and the Lea who was already standing up, stretching before putting his phone in his pants pocket and throwing on his vest. “Yosh! I’m heading to work a little early today. Going to try and take a different route to better learn the streets, ya know? Do ya want me to bring anything back today? Oh, wait! It’s your turn to get dinner isn’t it?”

Isa lowered his book and slowly nodded. “Yes, it is. Thou, if you have something in mind you can pick it up yourself on your way home.”

“GREAT! Here, just gimmie fifty munny and I’ll take care of it. Don’t worry!” Lea’s palm was already outstretched and open, waiting for Isa to comply with his eager request. To which, he did with just another slow nod before reaching into his wallet and fishing out the exact amount asked for.

He figured Lea was just going to get pizza and salad again, just like almost every night he took charge of dinner plans. In the back of Isa’s mind, he couldn’t help but think maybe it was time to rework their shopping schedule so that they weren’t eating take out quite so often. Lost in his thought process, Isa almost didn’t pay any mind when Lea was waving goodbye at him and heading out the door. “W-wait a- ” he was already gone, footsteps fading as he dashed down the outside stairwell. Today, for the first time, Isa was the one left alone in the apartment in the morning….

* * *

 

“Sea salt caramel with walnuts. Enjoy.” A small, polite bow was given after handing the large treat to this customer. The pancake was thick, yet didn’t break when rolled up, ice cream soft and sweet, layered perfectly with whipped cream, nuts, drizzle, and then two pocky sticks crooked, yet artistically placed to be sticking out from the corner. Isa quickly cleaned his long bread knife before addressing the next customer.

“Welcome to Okashi Paradise. How may I help you?” There was no life in his voice. His tone may have been firm and assuring, but tired and disinterested more than anything else. Isa didn’t even smile when addressing anyone, keeping his usual deadpan frown glued to his face. Despite all this, time and time again his handy work more than made up for it. Since taking up his own part-time job at a crepe shop their business had picked up, not once him having to start a pastry over, second guess the recipe or look at reference cards. Isa was a fast learner, calm, and focused at every moment.

“Heeey, Isa! Lea told us you worked here but we had to see it to believe it ourselves!” Perky and bright, Isa’s eyes flashed wide for a split second when he realized that he was looking at Xion, Roxas standing right behind her with Olette and the others. “Tho, I have to admit: can’t say I really imagined you working in a sweets shop.”

“Well, what’s the special today? Anything cool?” Roxas pushed Xion aside and nearly leaned over the counter, causing Isa to step back slightly. His brows lifted only for a second before settling back down to their resting position. He shook his head, annoyed already.

He counted them quickly to prepare to have to make at least one crepe for each of them. Five wouldn’t be too much trouble, he decided. “We’re able to make all our usual flavors, but our special flavor this week is called _Summer’s Finale._ It has mandarin orange and kiwi with cherry ice cream and white chocolate chips.” The idea behind the promotional item was to celebrate the summertime coming to an end with various flavors and colors that were associated with Twilight Town’s natural agriculture and a sunset. Though, Isa could tell it was a cheap marketing tactic towards kids who’d have to go back to school, soon…and it was working. After all, Roxas and all his friends were here.

Isa nodded to each of them with a soft _hmm_ as he took their order. Thankfully, they all ordered the same thing. It wasn’t too hard, once he got the hang of removing the pancake from the grill. After that, just about every recipe had the same setup, just different ingredients. He thought anyone could do this job. Even Lea could if he really tried. Although it was true Isa wasn’t exactly the biggest fan of sweets, or anything bright and colorful, the work was calming, easy, and in solitude. He didn’t have to depend on anyone else; just focus on his own task and each day would go by just fine.

He bowed to each of them as he gave all five of them a _Summer’s Finale_ and waved to them as they headed off on whatever adventure they had planned for the day, teasing and laughing all the while. Eyes fell on Roxas and Xion especially. _Hmmm…I can see why_ **_Axel_** _was so attached to those two. They’re a lot like him,_ he thought to himself as he resumed his work. Though focused, the more he thought about it and back to that morning with Lea, Isa had noticed that everyone had come to meet with heart had one thing in common. They were more expressive, more passionate, and all-around more cheerful than himself.

There were vague memories of other’s comments on his and Lea’s friendship in the past, often saying that they seemed like an unlikely pair in being total opposites, but maybe that’s why they got along. Isa had always been the more grounded and stable of the two; calm, logical, and collected unless angered to a beserker point. Meanwhile, Lea had always been more outwardly hot-headed, flashy, and sociable. They balanced each other out, plain and simple. So, why now did it feel so much like he was lacking, like Lea had grown bored of him? If he had Roxas, Xion, and so many others whom he was more alike could he really blame him?

“Here you are. _Strawberry Kiwi Classic_. Have a nice day.”

Come to think of it, Isa couldn’t even say he was acting all that different since regaining his heart. It was like Xehenort still held influence over him, despite being long gone. Meanwhile, Lea had returned to his old self. So…why hadn’t he at least shown any sign of life and emotion yet? Every day it was still the same attitude, the same stone-cold face, the same lack of concern for those he deemed not important. It had been months and he was still acting like…even just thinking the word made his body shudder for a moment, but he knew it to be true. Isa wasn’t any different now than he was from _Saix._

_Am I truly recompleted? Have I just forgotten how to use the heart I longed to regain so dearly? No, that’s impossible. If I was still without a heart then there’d be no real worry to feel._

He paused only for a moment to turn his attention back to another customer and resumed. Even though he was distracted he knew that he had a heart. His foot was tapping, irritated and impatient. His fingers twitched, eager and frustrated. Isa’s brow furrowed momentarily annoyed and conflicted. He thought back to earlier in the morning when he had tried speaking but immediately had backed down, nervous and second-guessing. As a nobody, none of these small, tiny actions would occur. He’d just feel a hollow memory in a distant corner of his mind, reminding him what the emotion felt like, which as _Saix_ was completely useless.

A hand came up to hover over in front of his chest. He could feel _it,_ the sting and swallowing sensation of confusion and heartache within the more he thought about it all. Isa shook his hand away and turned to glance at the clock. It was almost his break time.

 _I......I do have a heart. Yet it would seem I’ve yet to fully utilize it. If that’s the case then would that still not make me any different from_ **_Saix?_ **

* * *

 

It was break time, and Isa was alone in the bathroom, staring at his reflection in the mirror. Strange as it may be, he couldn’t recall the last time he had ever really _looked_ at himself. In the morning he had just focused on brushing his teeth or styling his hair that he hadn’t really observed the way his face was shaped, how it rested, or at how prevalent the scars on his face were. He hadn’t paid any attention to how his face moved when he talked or to the consistent glare in his eyes.

Isa first thought that he understood why his boss had tried so hard to force him to smile during training sessions. He looked nothing like the example he had seen in his training videos. Second, he thought back to Xion and Roxas who had visited not long earlier, how their face was a fitting image of what not only his boss would have wished for, but of how Lea commonly appeared. Joy and happiness expressed outwardly with a smile was just the normal thing to do for those who had hearts, it seemed. Yet he never did, no matter how happy he was. Isa had always tried to express his delight with action, gestures of appreciation and adoration. It was rare he ever appeared any way except right now…which to most was vile or angry.

A tooth pinched at his lower lip as his hands balled into fist, pressing into the sink countertop.

 _Let’s just give it a try,_ he coached himself. After a deep breath, Isa relaxed his face as best he could. First, he just focused on his lips in the mirror, watching them rise a bit, then his eyebrows. With a little force, they were brought up as high as his muscles were capable. His nostrils opened for a second, as did his eyelids. Holding everything in place, Isa observed everything carefully. Every muscle in his face was tense, veins pulsing at the corners of his temples. It looked like…he could imitate a frog to perfection.

He shuddered, leaning forward over the counter as his expression dropped. This was already painstaking after just a single attempt, frustrating and angering him, but he knew that getting angry wasn’t going to help him achieve this. In fact, all I did was create the same bitter glare that felt so natural to him. Isa tried his best to calm down and starter over from his deadpan. Eyes closed, he tried his best to envision the example from the training videos. Hesitation held a tight grip around him as he began to move his face, but eventually, he succeeded. Isa pulled his lips apart as he tugged the corners back. He could feel the air touch at his top _and_ bottom gum line, a clear indication that he was on the right track. Next were the brows. This time they wouldn’t be so high. In fact, they weren’t moved at all. When he opened his eyes…Isa looked like a mad variation of the shop’s clown mascot, ready to kill anyone who dared enter.

Again, and again he tried to create a normal smile on his face, but each time there was something off. His lip line was too flat, his eyes were lifeless, his brows too high, too much of his teeth and gums were showing, and so on. If not one thing messed it up then it was another, and it all looked so forced. All Isa had achieved was looking like an uncomfortable fool…and wasted his break time. Defeated, he just splashed some water on his face and dried his skin before heading back out to start the last half of his shift.


	4. Isa's Day II

The last few hours ticked by just as they had during the first shift, though with twice as much distraction…and failure. Every time he handed out a crepe to whoever came by he’d give another attempt to smile. A mirror was not needed to tell that he was doing it wrong. The responding looks on the customer’s face was enough to say that he just looked awkward, that it was clear he was trying too hard, and faking it. His face hurt from stretching his muscles so often, and all he wanted to do was to go home and forget about today with a long shower and one of his books.

His shift would end soon and then he could leave. Isa could already smell a warm cup of jasmine tea and imagine the next fairytale in his book waiting for him on the coffee table for when he’d get home. A warm shower, a healthy dinner, and a relaxed evening was all he wanted more than anything now. When his replacement walked in he nodded and began cleaning his station, for once eager to leave, but not before making one final crepe.

Isa scanned the menu for a moment, thinking slowly before he started working. Vanilla Caramel Confection it was. He worked slowly replaying an off-handed comment he remembered Lea making the other day about “bringing work home.” He knew Lea just meant he wanted free sweets and recently Isa was starting to do just such. After the kiwi treat, he had given Lea on that rainy day Isa hadn’t been able to get the image of his roommate’s smiling face out of his head. The memory clouded his vision as he allowed his hands to work on a sort of auto-pilot, yet now his nervous hand was calm, his shoulders relaxed, his face softened, and he felt lighter all around. Isa rolled the pancake slowly, smoother around the filling and garnished it carefully as to make sure nothing was out of place and that it looked even better than it did in the picture! “There,” he hushed to himself after he finished wrapping it in the same bright pink wax paper and placed in a plastic container to carry home. “Perfect!”

“I’ll say,” his coworker chimed in as they elbowed Isa’s side. “What’s with that look on your face, huh? That’s the first time I’ve seen ya looking like that since you started working here! Finally found your sweet tooth or something?” They teased him with a snicker, eyeing crepe Isa had just finished making.

“...what do you mean?” he entered the item number in the register along with his employee number for the discount and paid it for before setting it in the fridge to keep it cool while he changed. “Is there something on my face?” he said calmly.

“What? Don’t play dumb, Isa. We can all see you smiling!”

Just like that- it vanished. Saix blinked as his whole face glowed pink. He didn’t need a mirror to know that there was a look of surprise on his face now, but to hear it from someone else just then, that he had actually smiled- he didn’t know how to react at all.

“Wow! First a smile and now Isa’s blushing?! That’s two surprises in one day!” his coworker continued to taunted as he readied himself at the cooking station. “Go onnnn. Get moving, already. Your shift’s over!”

With that, Isa quickly changed out of his work clothes, grabbed the crepe from the fridge, and left. The walk home he could hardly recall. His feet felt like they were gliding across the concrete sidewalk, slowly cutting through the tunnels from the main shopping area to the residential district. Isa was still in a state of disbelief, replaying the last few moments back in his head as if doing so would recreate it perfectly then and now. He couldn’t really remember how his face had felt, let alone how it must have looked because he had been so focused on making the treat for Lea.

It could have had something to do with that? Did making crepes make him that happy that he smiled when...no. That didn’t make any sense. If that’s all it took the Isa wouldn’t have had any trouble smiling the first two dozen times he had tried earlier that day with the other customers. He sighed as he fished for his keys wiped his feet on the welcome mat of his apartment building. As he climbed the stairwell Isa decided to dismiss it for the moment and just focus on relaxing until Lea got home. Then he’d have another attempt to maybe practice being more expressive with him! Yeah, that’d be perfect, he thought.

* * *

Crepe in the fridge, showered, teapot boiling, cup with sugar at the bottom and book on the coffee table. It was just as it always was. Lea would be home in a moment, and so until then, he’d enjoy a quiet moment, replaying everything he had planned in his head. Isa was determined to make some kind of progress before the day was over, or else! To start off, he was already wearing his pajamas!

He sat down at his usual spot on the couch and acted just as he always did, sipping from his cup and reading from where he left off. A moment to himself would be enough to calm any nerves twitching in his psyche. A few minutes ticked by and then he heard it: the sound of Lea’s boots clunking on the steps. Isa took a deep breath and readied himself. He could do it. _Just...show some more emotions and act natural,_ was what he told himself. 

The sound of the front door lock clicked and then just a second later Lea came through from the entryway into the living space looking tired as ever, hunched forward carrying two pizza boxes and a small container on top of them. “W-wow, hey, Isa! Help me, please would ya?” he said, a bit distressed while trying to keep his balance.

“Welcome home!” he said with forced enthusiasm and tight smile on his face, muscle in his forehead twitching nervously as he stood up! “Here, let me hold that for you, Lea! You must be really tired.” It pained him already, having used more words than felt natural to him. Normally he’d give a single word response and silently assist. Yet, this was part of the plan. Isa shut his book and stood up to awkwardly rush over and take the large load out of Lea’s hands. “Don’t worry. I’ve got it for ya,” he put a little slur on his words, still holding the stone solid forced grin.

Lea just...remained silent even shook his head for a moment when he finally regained himself and processed what was going on. A hand came up to stroke at his own chin as he watched Isa carry dinner over to the counter. Something didn’t feel right to him. “You...seem cheerful. You have a good or something?”

Isa shuddered for a moment, hanging his head before bringing it back up to smile as wide as he could manage. “What on you talking about? Aren’t I always like this? Let’s have dinner already while it’s still hot.” He set the top container to the side along with the cola before reaching into the cabinet to pull out glasses and plates.

His eyes leered, narrowed tightly as he watched Isa’s action. Something was definitely up, but he knew the other was going to be stubborn. Lea shrugged as he raised both hands up and grinned softly. “Alright, if you say so,” he said as he strutted over to the counter and grabbed his own plate. He watched patiently, seeing Isa make his own, placing a slice on it instead of going for salad or breadsticks and- what’s this? Soda instead of tea?! There was no way he actually expected Lea to buy this, right? What was he trying to do here? “Mixing it up tonight?”

“I just thought I’d see why you love this stuff so much, is all! Can’t eat the same thing every night, right?” Isa’s nose twitched and his stomach curled as he looked down at it. He could see oil and grease along the surface. It looked disgusting to him, and worse: this time Lea had brought home _two._ Was he preparing to not buy food for the weekend or something? If anything he was going to show his insides instead of any emotion. “Well, let's eat, shall we? You can pick what we watch tonight if you want!” Isa grabbed his plate and his glass, walked around the counter and headed for the couch when suddenly, he detoured to approach Lea. The man’s eye was twitching as he hesitated. He leaned forward, quickly giving a small peck to the other’s cheek and then he raced to sit down in his usual spot where...his teacup and book were still. In fact, the cup was still half full.

Lea took his own usual spot right next to Isa on the other end, curling up with his feet on the cushions. His eyes glanced down, noting the book and the half-empty teacup. _Yeahhhh, something is definitely up tonight,_ he thought. Still, he kept his cool and would wait patiently until Isa dropped the act as he began flipping through the HeartFlix catalog, browsing the same the selection he did every night. A smirk grew found its way onto his face. “Well how about I just put on that new anime everyone’s been talking about! Sound good to you?”

 _ABSOLUTELY NOT,_ he shouted while grinding his teeth together. “Sure thing! I’ve actually been wanting to watch it myself! It’ll be perfect to watch together, I’m sure!” His patience was wearing thin. As Lea pressed play and began the first episode Isa just wanted to zone out and not pay attention to whatever shenanigans he was being subjected to. Some teenage boy was carrying his sister through a snowstorm while screaming for her not to die or something- he wasn’t sure since he wasn’t really reading the subtitles but it all seemed stupid to him.

One bite of his food was enough to make him want to pretend he wasn’t hungry anymore. At this point he just felt drained, exhausted more than from any rough day at work because of this and all he could think about was to sink low into the couch cushions. He sighed regretfully and brought his legs up onto the couch, pulled them to his chest and buried his face for a moment against his knees. This act was well past torturous for him, now.

Lea was cautious in sneaking glances at Isa during all this, waiting for the most opportune moment. He wasn’t really watching the screen either, having already seen the whole season weeks ago. When Isa’s face was shoved against his knees he took that as a sign to move closer, inching a cushioned space closer and reach his right hand over the scratch at his partner’s neck and shoulders. “Ya finished now?” he asked playfully as he pulled Isa over, urging him to lay down.

Defeated, drained, and overall pitiful, Isa followed Lea’s guide allowed himself to collapse over, resting his head on the other’s lap as he sighed deeply. “Was it...truly obvious?”

“Isa, I know I can be hot-headed but I ain’t stupid- least not when it comes to _you._ You’re never the first one in pajamas, or one to eat pizza with me...or drink soda, or leave an unfinished teacup out on the table like this. I ain’t hard to see somethins’ eatin’ at ya!” As he spoke Lea ran a hand over Isa’s head, petting his soft hair slowly. He’d let his fingers slip through his partner’s blue locks and nails lightly nip and scratch at his scalp, easing Isa out of his tense state. “Come on now. Tell me what it is! I’ll listen to ya,” he said as his other hand reached over to lower the TV volume.

There was a long silence as Isa just kept working his body to relax...which was harder than he expected. How could he? His brain was swarming, trying to think of how to put it all into words that Lea could understand. What would be the best way to explain an internal identity crisis? He couldn’t just say it the way he had conjured it all in his head at work, could he? In fact, the way he had thought of it was repeated, ringing in his head like it was being spoken by a dozen different voices, all screaming at him a different way to talk about this until finally, he was biting his lip out of frustration.

“I just...don't feel...different. I’m still _Saix.”_

Lea’s hands paused for a moment, switching from scratching to just simple petting. “Is that it?” he asked with a puzzled, almost trivial tone in his voice. Yet the soft expression on his face and the slow motion of his hand showed that he was giving Isa every piece of attention.

There was a lot more. There were concerns that he almost dared not even put into words. How exactly would it sound to admit that he was  _ jealous  _ of Roxas and Xion? “I...Lea...you still like me, don’t you?”

Lea raised an eyebrow down at Isa and just kept petting his hair, occasionally rubbing down his neck. “You’re really worried about this of all things?” He paused for a moment, and then it hit him. “I think I see what’s goin’ on here…” There was a moment where he shifted his leg just a little and pulled back Isa’s hair to better see the side of his face. “Isa...it’s okay. I mean...I’ve always liked ya the way you are. Ain't nothing about you has to change at all, ‘sides, did you say the other week something about like how we both have strengths where the other one lacks?”

Isa was slow to respond but nodded his head. “Yeah...but this is a little different. I mean-”

  
“No, it ain’t! Let me guess. You think that because you ain’t all that different from how you  _ were  _ that I’m going to get bored of you soon enough. Is that it?” He could feel Isa’s body immediately become stiff and even though he could hear him give a sharp inhale.  _ Bingo,  _ he thought. “Thought so,” he said calmly, making sure to control voice to not seem too boastful.

“.......” He was silent for a moment, eyes shut tight. One of Isa’s random thoughts was to get up and immediately retreat into their bedroom, act like nothing has been spoken this whole time. Yet… “It’s difficult to put into proper words,” he finally said.

“I got ya,” Lea said softly. “Isa...you don’t have to say much if you don’t want to, but just listen, alright? You ain’t gotta worry about that stuff. You don’t have to force yourself to be different now that we’re living together or now that we have hearts or nothin’. I mean, you’re about the same as I remember ya from when we were kids and you couldn’t ever get rid of then, could ya? Ain’t no way I’m about to jus’ leave ya high and dry now.” As he spoke Lea was sure to keep soothing him, switching from petting Isa or scratching around his ear. Did he actually enjoy that? He couldn’t be sure but it always worked for dogs and cats, so why not humans?

“Look, what I mean is...any who’s liked ya has always liked ya the way you are. And if you don’t like the way you are then it's just like you told me a while back. Give yourself time. I still ain’t memorized all the underground tunnels after a whole month so why should you be a completely different person in that time, right?"

Another dramatic pause. The faint sound of Japanese voices screaming omitted from the television of Isa continued to circulate in his thoughts. Tension hung in the air until finally Isa gave a long, loud exhale and felt himself relax a bit.  He scrunched his face tight before letting go and reached a hand up to rub at his temples. “I suppose you’re right,” he said as he forced himself to sit up properly and drop his legs from the cushions. “I’ve just...been thinking a lot today and my mind...it leads to a lot of worries.” His eyes went back to his food on the coffee table, disgusted by the mere sight of it. Even the cup of cold tea look more appetizing. Isa reached out and slid it over closer for Lea to take, which he did without hesitation.

“That’s the Isa I know and love,” he said as he cheerfully took back the slice and munched away, still talking with his mouth full. “Don’ be sow hwrd on yourswlf, Isaw. ‘Sides, ain’t thaw what a partnership is for?” He swallowed as he watched Isa stand up and head back towards the kitchen counter area. “Ya know? Us bein’ here to support each other? Heh~ got it memorized?”

“I’m still hungry,” Isa said in response as he gave Lea a weak smile, acting like he hadn’t heard a word the other had said to him. “Hmmph. Hope there’s something else you brought home for me.”

“Grab the salad I bought ya, or better yet...maybe you should open up the second pizza box I got. It’s for you!” Lea called from the couch as he turned up the TV volume again.

When he opened the box Isa- He just looked back across to room over to Lea in disbelief. “Putting vegetables on pizza isn’t going to make me more likely to eat it,” he said in a matter-of-fact tone with a smirk as he closed the lid of the box.

"What?! Oh, come on, at least have one slice! I  _ tried  _ to get you somethin' more healthy."


End file.
